Yo ho ho! The Ontario Pirate Festival is a shipload of family fun in Guelph

Spend the August long weekend in the village of Dry Bluffs

Captain Zoltan the Adequate invites you to set sail for Canada’s premier pirate-themed event and live like a pirate.

Ahoy, Matey! Are you ready to pick up a treasure map and explore a pirate town? If you make it through the quests at the Ontario Pirate Festival, you’ll get your fair share of the booty, just look for Old Captain Bill.

All your favourite scoundrels and scalawags will be there, with all hands on deck for the long weekend from Saturday, Aug. 1 to Monday, Aug. 3.

The village of Dry Bluffs is open for business from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., rain or shine at Marden Park (7391 Marden Rd.).

Andy Blau, who portrays Captain Zoltan the Adequate, said he might be biased, but he thinks this is the best festival around.

“The best thing about it is living the life of a pirate, on your own terms, and taking big bites out of life,” he said.

Canada’s premier pirate-themed event is bringing together more than 50 craftspeople and more than 30 performers for a weekend of entertainment, shopping and fun.

“There’s food and drink, live music throughout the day, crafting demonstrations, sword fighting, circus shows, song, and live bird demonstrations, all in a lovely outdoor setting,” Blau said. “Live animals, mermaids and pirates — it’s a shipload of family fun!”

One thing the crew has focused on this year is growing the Pub Sing event, their favourite way to finish the day. You can join all the pirates in the Thirsty Parrot pub to sing some sea shanties led by Gabby Teller, the fantastic pub mistress.

The band Old Man Flanagan’s Ghost will join in this year, headlining the Captain’s Keg — an age 19 plus party on Saturday night that Blau said will be off the hook. The evening kicks off at 7 p.m. and is just $15 a pirate to enjoy.

Expect heaps of swashbuckling shenanigans.

“A second big thing this year is more sword fighting in the street, because you can’t have a bunch of pirates wandering around without some sort of fight breaking out,” Blau said.

Trained fighters will be busy causing trouble in the market and at the events, and you never know what will happen next.

Finally, the biggest news for the mermaids who put up with the heat in Dry Bluffs all weekend, is the pirates are bringing in a real tank of water for them to enjoy. There is also a misting tent for folks to cool down in, but Mermaid Molly Flora and River Mermaid Brie are quite excited to have their own tank, too.

But whether you’re a sea dog or a landlubber, there will be lots to do. There are all kinds of activities for young and older pirates to enjoy.

“One of our very popular shows is the sword fight show Sibling Rivalry with brother and sister engaged in combat,” said Blau. “The falconry demonstrations (are) presented by the Eyrie, our high-flying aerialist Lady Lizzie Skylark, and of course, Captain Zoltan will performing fire eating and magic.”

The children’s area will be run by Captain Kidd, and Captain Carnegie and Sparky the Dragon will be making the rounds. There’s also a new juggler in town named Swashbuckling Simon who will lead the crew through a game of Simon Says. And don’t forget, there will be Vikings!

“We add new stuff every year, like new vendors, but we don’t allow any 3D-printed or AI-created merchandise. Everything is handmade and from the minds of our own clever craftspeople,” said Blau.

It’s a celebration of the golden age of piracy and fantasy lore, and he said that means no computers allowed. Blau said that pets are allowed, though. And he wants to give them all some attention.

Costumes are encouraged and you can always buy some pirate-themed garb at the event. You can get your tickets at the gate, and don’t worry — parking is free, and kids under five get in free, too.

Learn more at thepiratefestival.com or follow instagram.com and facebook.com to keep a weather eye open for scuttlebutt.

By Joy Struthers, Guelph Mercury